It's sad been a twin when......

Forewarned this post is a rant.

I'm a little bit wound up right now. Why? Let me tell you why? If you are a parent of multiples you may completely understand this.....

You would like your children to attend a group class, like swimming or those toddler classes, you know those group classes where the parent - child attends. There maybe singing, dancing, or other body moving/learning activities and a professionally trained instructor/teacher. You pick up the phone to make enquiries and you find out it is strictly one child to one adult. Your husband works, your nearest family is a 4.5 hour drive away. Eeryone you know is working or has their own children they are caring for. You slowly realise your multiples will miss out on this opportunity.

Apart of me (and it's very tiny) understands, but it saddens me that their twinness combined with a set of circumstances will mean that they are excluded from participating in certain activities.

To the helpful lady who answered the phone, did it ever occur to you that you have NEVER had twins attend because your establishment's system, processes, lack of ability to think outside of the box, excludes twins/multiples from participating? Did you feel embarassed when I said as much to you? I felt embarrased for you when you could not clearly articulate the one child to one adult policy "Because it's always been this way," is NOT an acceptable answer.

If you are attending a class which involves one child to one parent..... take a look around. Any twins there? No? Perhaps this is why.

Rant over. Thanks for reading.

UPDATE - Getting rid of the bottle

A drinking milk from a glass.

I wrote a post a few weeks ago about getting rid of the bottle. You can read it here. I thought it was time I gave an update. All the bottles and sippy cups have been packed up. They are now in a box located in our shed at our block of land, which is approximately 24.2 km or a 25 minute drive away.

The first week was the hardest. G put up a fight, she started drinking out of the small milk cartons I gave her, but she must have suspected it was linked to the lack of bottles, so she gave up drinking from the cartons as well. So for the first two weeks there was no drinking of milk.

Magically on the third week G realised there would be no more bottles. She finally stopped playing or ignoring her glass of milk, picked it up and drank from the glass. I always knew she was capable, it was a matter of choice. Once I took the options way she showed that she could and would drink milk from a glass.

I have however just jumped ahead. There were other things I did as well. As I stated in my previous post, our dinner time, bath time, outside play time, bedtime reading and going to bed is all changed. Here's what happened.
  

Previous Rhythm	Current Rhythm
Wake Up	Wake up
Breakfast	Breakfast
Dressed/Brush teeth	Bath/Shower time
Outside play/outing	Dressed
Snack	Inside Play/Outing
Inside play	Snack
Lunch	Lunch
Reading	Reading
Nap	Nap
Snack	Activity (baking, drawing, painting,)
Activity (Baking, drawing, painting)	Snack
TV (30 minutes)	TV (30 minutes)
Dinner	Outside Play/walk/ Dinner Prep
Bath ti	Dinner
Bottle	Reading
Reading	Wash face, hands, brush teeth and get ready for bed
Bed	Bed

The most important change was moving bath time from the evening to the morning. The second important change was changing outside play from the morning to the afternoon. I changed outside play to the afternoon as it is getting hotter here and the yard is bathed in sun in the morning. In the afternoon it tends to be cooler and there is more shaded cover.

The rhythms above are fluid, most days are like this, but not always. Some days we have commitments and activities that require us to leave the house.  A & G enjoy these outing, but I try to ensure we don't cram it all in the same day or successive days.

 

Just for me

 

This post is not related to Montessori or raising twins. This post is about me and something that I do that is purely and selfishly for me.

In life we wear many hats, daughter, sister, aunt, best friend, employee, employer, business partner, lover, wife, mother, husband, father, teacher, the list is every growing. I believe it is important (for me) to undertake an activity that is does not involve my children or husband.

BOOK: Playmates by Jane Tanner

"At about a year and a half, the child discovers another fact,

and that is that each thing has its own name.

This show that..... s/he has been able to single out the nouns, and especially the concrete nouns."

 The Absorbent Mind, Maria Montessori

 

New to our bookshelf is this book, Playmates by Jane Tanner. Every once in a while I come across a book which finds a special place in my heart and this is one such book. This book is written and illustrated by Jane Tanner. The pictures are breathtakingly real and so beautiful.

Thankfully my children adore this book as much as I do.  At 16 months they are undergoing a explosion of words. A in particular shows a keen interest in the naming of things.

VIDEO - Under Control

"Mama, I do it myself."

This footage was taken last week when we had finished dinner. We have just finished having our dessert of fruit and yoghurt. A glass tumbler with milk has been provided for A and G.

Just before I started filming, A adding the yogurt to her milk and made a smoothie. I had a moment where I was sure the glass bowl would fall and break. My reaction is instinctive and I try not to do this as it undermines their confidence.

Did you see A tell me off. Yes, telling me off. I think she was telling me she had it under control. She moved the bowl away from the edge after I stop filming. I then asked her to place it in the "pack away container."

Since filming this I have purchased new glasses for them to use. They seem to like larger glasses with grooves on the sides. This makes it easier for them to grip the glass, even when they have  yoghurt hands.

I have another video, it is much longer. I will attempt to up load it in another post.

Drinking from a Glass - Update



This is A with her glass of water. She has added crackers to her water.

Recently A & G have decided glasses of water serve another purpose. There is water play, consisting of placing their hands into the glass of water and watching how water overflows from the top of the glass. Very fascinating. When they tire of water play, their next enjoyable activity is sink or float. Various uneaten items of food are dropped into the glasses. With an intent look of concentration they observe the food sinking or floating.

Evolving Spaces - Update

I wrote a post earlier on the floor bed and different spaces I have within my home (you can read it here.) Well everything and I do mean everything has changed.

Why, you ask?  The floor beds were somewhat successful for day time naps, however for night time sleeps it did not work for us. I believe if they were on floor beds from birth or say 3 or 4 months, it would have been successful. To keep Dad Dad and I sane we went back to cots. Sigh. I am not deterred though. Should I be lucky enough to have another child I would start with a either a moses basket on the floor in our room or floor bed from the very beginning.

What changes have I made? I swapped rooms around for one. The room with the cots, is based on the west side of the house and in summer the room would get very hot. We would have the windows open and the ceiling fan swirling to keep the girls cool in summer. The room the floor beds were in is now the room they sleep in and the room the cots were in is now where one floor bed is located.

OK so here are some pictures.
 

The new cot room

This is the room they sleep in. You will note they sleep is cots. I have tried removing one side of the cot. This didn't work out so great for us either. A & G are very agile and able to get into and out of their cots. It started with laughter and ended in tears when one sibling joined their sibling and gave them a good shove.  Something for us to work on. The tepee was my gift to them for their first birthday. Two cots and a tepee (and a few toys/books) are the only items in this room.




The Old Cot Room

This is the room they use to sleep in (remember in my previous post it was the rather messy room.) They slove this room. They come in here together or alone. Sit on the floor bed, roll around, read, talk and play with their toys. Since taking these pictures I have placed a mirror to the left, just beside the floor bed. I've also added a small basket in front of the mirror which holds their hairbrush.

I dress both girls in here. When we leave the house this is the room we make our way to. I sit on the floor cross legged, and one child sits on my lap, the other collects their shoes (this is a special task.)

I brush the hair of the child in my lap and sing a song about dressing and grooming . When I finish brushing the hair of the child in my lap, she joins her sister to sit on the side of the mattress. I put socks and shoes on both A & G, then brush the hair of the second child. Then we are ready to go. This room is beside the garage. Our outings involve either a car or collecting a pram (one of those huge twin prams that doesn't fit in the house), so we always exit our house via the garage.

Storage with a few of their favourite things and their shoes.



 

A chair for me, a table, tissues, a basket for storage and the wooden plane.

Drinking from a Glass



A drinking from her glass

I wanted to write a small post about drinking from a glass. In particular I wanted to document our experience so far. The above picture features A, she is our expert drinker. She can and will drink from any cup, glass, bottle and even via a straw. This is her drinking water from her glass at dinner time. She also takes a lot of care when placing her glass on the tray or table top.

 

At 6 months old we started offering A & G drinks from a shot glass, then a series of espresso glasses and progressed to little glass tumblers. Some of the glasses I purchased from stores and others I acquired from various local charity stores.

Getting Rid of the bottle

One of my girls, G,  loves, loves, loves, loves, loves her bottle. She is a bottle addict. If she sees a baby with a bottle in public she cries for it. It's not the milk, it's the bottle she loves. It comforts her. If she wasn't bottle feed I sincerely believe she would be a breast addict.

We have been very successfull at dropping several bottle feeds, except for two. At 12 months the only milk feeds they were having was in the morning when they woke and night time.  I quickly disposed of the morning drink when breakfast was left uneaten regardless of what time they had the bottle or breakfast. I swapped  milk for cheese and a drink of water. Breakfast included cereal (with milk) and at snack time yoghurt. This seemed to work well for us. Breakfast was now consumed. Hooray for us!

You will note I wrote seemed..... well my bottle addict was not going to give up that easily.  At 9am every morning (before snack time) the crying would begin, followed by rolling around on the floor. Quite frankly, it was embarrassing and horrifying to watch my child melt down over a bottle. I tried giving the yoghurt snack just before 9am..... to no avail. Was I surprised? No. The same child also loved her dummy as well, which disappeared at 6 months.

My bottle addict showed an astounding amount of fortitude and was able to maintain what I call a bottle tantrum for over an hour...... she showed more stamina than I did. When her sibling joined in just for the fun of it I caved in. In the end, she (and her sibling, because she wasn't going to be left out) got her bottle, a small one, with 50 mls of milk. Not enough according to her, but tough there would be no additional day time milk drinks provided in a bottle.  A cup, a glass or any other drinking vessel yes, but not a bottle. Yes, this internal dialogue with myself made me feel better.

How did this work for us? My bottle addict refuses to drink milk from a cup, glass or sippy cup. She spills it, she plays with it and she spits it out. We have had a show down, her and I.... so far I've managed to hold out. She has yet to notice her dairy intake has increased.

Fast forward to today. The day bottle is gone. Instead they sometimes receive a small carton of Devondale Full Cream Long Life Milk after their mid morning or afternoon snack. Often they don't drink all their milk so it goes back in the fridge. I have in the past tried providing a small milk drink with their meal. This has not worked out well for us. It has ended with milk been spilt or thrown. This only happens when the beverage provided is milk. It never happens with water.

My bottle addict is enthralled by the carton, struggles with drinking from the straw, but she is persevering. She hasn't noticed (yet) the bottle is gone.

The only down side, the straw doesn't come with the 150 ml carton. I have spare straws in the pantry for the small cartons

I'm not concerned about their dairy intake. They are mostly good eaters and consume enough dairy products during the day.  I just want the bottles gone. Her bottle addiction is unfortunately holding back her sister, who was ready to give up bottles months ago.

One of the challenge of raising twins is the question of sameness. I find what one has the other one wants, so having one a drink from a cup while her sister drinks out of a bottle was only going to ended in tears. How do I know? Well I gave it a try.

In my internal dialogue with myself I have rationalised, saying G isn't ready to give up the bottle. The truth is she may never be ready. She loves her bottle that much. I gave myself until they were 15 months, to come up with a strategy and to start getting rid of all bottles. It is time. We now have a bad case of bottle theft and milk gorging happening in the evenings.

A & G have proven that they do not need a night time bottle to sleep through the night. I'm about to revamp their whole night time routine which will involve a change to our evening activities. Dinner time, bath time, outside play time, bedtime reading and going to bed is all about to change. In the past I have found a complete change in the way we do things works better for us than a gradual change.

As a parent I have to make tough decisions which cause short term unpleasantness for me, my husband, our home life and our children.  This feels like one of  those decisions. I know there could be tears, tantrums and sleepless nights, or it could all be an anticlimactic non event. Here's hoping. One thing I do know it is time to be the parent, make the decision and follow through. Six months from now I know this will be a faded memory.

Walking - At the Beach

 



A, strolling along. Destination unknown .

 

G, look it's stairs

Almost there!

Crunch, crunch...... the sound of dry leaves and bark

Wavy Knife or Crinkle Knife

We own two wavy/crinkle cutters or knives. The black one I have owed pre-children. We only own one. The handle is designed for use by an adult. I have seen this exact type for purchase in several kitchen stores. I use this a lot when I am whipping up a stir fry for dinner. It is especially handy for cutting vegetables, like carrots and zucchini.  Post children I often use this to halve vegetable or hamburger patties, cut apples, carrots, pumpkins or sweet potatoes into interesting chips for the girls dinner or snack.

We own two of the green wavy cutters. I made sure I brought two, one for each child and both are the exact same colour. I would have liked red, but they only had one in stock. Purchasing two in different colours, has the potential to lead to conflict at the moment, so items exactly the same is a safer bet.

Stephanie at Montessori on the Double has recently posted about cutting with a knife and kitchen activities. If you have not read her post a link is here. Kylie at How we Montessori also posted about the same topic here.

The green one is the exact same brand mentioned by Stephanie at Montessori on the Double and the same one pictured in use in How we Montessori.

I purchased ours from our local kitchen store for $6.95. The brand is Joie. I have seen this available in red, green and yellow. I did take a photo of our wavy/crinkle knife in its packaging (see below.) Size wise the knife is 9cm long and 8 cm wide, about the size of a cup coaster.

 

If you are based in Brisbane we purchased ours from Whisk Home Essentials in Northlakes Westfield Shopping Centre, but you could also try Robins Kitchens or House stores, which can be found in most large shopping centres. These are small and easy to miss so ask the staff for help.

Toilet Learning Twins - Part 4 - Prepared Environment

Baby Bjorn Smart Potty from The EC Store

 

We have three potties and all of our potties are Baby Bjorn Smart Potties. Two in white and one red. The white potties are set up at the potty station. I have to admit the location as moved several times since the beginning our toilet learning adventures. The red one is for emergency catches.

The main reason I brought potties and included potty time as part of our routine was A. A has been waking most mornings dry since she was 10 months old. The only occasions she has been wet in the morning has been illness, teething, when she is unsettled, and a few day after she started walking. So our toilet learning has been lead by her.

Toilet Learning and Public Outings

Today we went to our multiple play group to hang out with all the other twins and their mums and dads. During this outing I made the conscious decision to take A & G to the toilet. The play group is held at a local church and they have a toilet for wee people. I went over to A, said "potty time." Then I went to G, and said the same, "potty time".

Toilet Learning Twins- Part 3 - Training Pants

Training pants are the bane of my life. Honestly, if you are early toilet learning or practising Elimination Communication, the options for training pants or little undies is rather limited in the department stores. Also purchasing a pair of training pants in a small size has proven to be a challenge in some of the online stores, as the stock is either sold out or unavailable. For what it is worth here is my training pants adventures so far.

Long Day

It's been a very long day today. I had a grizzly, unhappy little girl today. I think G is teething. She had a new molar come through last week and it looks like another one is about to make an appearance.

Although it has been a very tiring day, there have been a few highlights. Here are some pictures.

 

Peeka

 

 

 

BOO!

 

Ring, Ring...... "Hello, how can I help you?"

 

 

 

 

Toilet Learning Twins Part 2 - Cloth Nappies

Before A & G arrived, I surfed the Internet looking for information on cloth nappies. Boy oh, boy! There is so much information on cloth nappies, I was overwhelmed.  I just could not decide what to buy, so in the end I didn't buy any cloth nappies at all. I did own those flat square terry towel nappies (which I used as burp and clean up cloths.)

In the first three months of my twins lives they were in disposal nappies, whilst I adjusted to our new life as a family of four. When the girls were about 4 months I started researching cloth nappies again, and yes, I was still very confused about what to buy. I really wanted to spend my money wisely and on the right nappy system for us. The weather was warming up at this time, so I started to let the girls have more nappy free time, but continued to use disposables for night time and going out. Honestly they were in disposable a lot more than I would have liked them to be. At this time I hadn't read anything on ECing. Perhaps if I had they would have had more nappy free time than they did and I would have been more in tune with their toileting ques.

Toilet Learning Twins - Part 1 - Our Beginning

As I've planned out how I would cover our toileting journey, I realised there is more and more information I want to add. To ensure this flows and so you have some context to make sense of our journey I have divided this into different parts and will link each section as they are posted.

• Toileting Pre-reading  - posted here
• Part 1 - Our beginning - posted
• Part 2 - Cloth nappies - posted here
• Part 3 - Training pants - posted here
• Part 4 - Prepared Environment for toileting  - posted here

Background

I came across Montessori when G started crawling and I wondered how I was going to survive two moving babies. I had heard of Montessori before, but I thought it was aimed only at the 3+ age group. Since discovering Montessori I have made changes around the home which I know have made life at home easier. In terms of toileting, I always planned on cloth. I was a cloth baby, if cloth was good enough for me, why not my children? What I didn't know at the time was how much the cloth nappy market had evolved. Talk about information over load!

Evolving Spaces - Bedroom and floor beds

I've had this post sitting in my draft folder for awhile just waiting for me to add the last finishing touches. I hope you enjoy reading and seeing what we have done and enjoyed. Meanwhile I'm still working on that toileting post.

 

I love the idea of the floor bed. My girls were 5 almost 6 months when I started searching the Internet on what parents were doing for children or twins the same age as A & G.  Throughout my Internet search I found myself returning to Montessori related sites. Obviously something about Montessori called to me on a number of levels. I was hooked. I borrowed every Montessori book from the library and began to include more Montessori activities, spaces and thinking into our lives.

Toilet Learning - Pre Reading

There are so many wonderful sites covering Toilet Learning. I'm not one to reinvent the wheel and since  others on the Internet have written some informative and comprehensive information on toileting the Montessori way I will not be covering this in my toileting posts. So without any further ado, here are some links related to toilet learning.

• Me do it  - Written by a twin mum. It's nice to know that I'm not the only twin mum giving it a go.
• Montessori ici  - The 3 P week A well written and comprehensive, three part series on toileting.
• At home with Montessori  - Toileting 
• Vibrant Wandering
• How we Montessori

Happy reading

Almost Wordless Tuesday

I'm working on a post about our toilet learning adventures. In the interim here are a few pictures taken during the week

G, watching the world go by. I really do love these cube chairs.